Supermarket Foot Freaks

Perverts and weirdos are everywhere. They're shopping at your supermarket, they're sitting next to you at the movies and they're living on your street. If it makes you feel any better, these freaks of nature have always been there. It's just that with the advances in security cameras over the past 15 years and the quick dsl connection speed of the internet, we just seem to catch more of them, so you in turn, hear about them more. I've always said that the store detectives and security people who work at our big box retail stores, supermarkets and malls were some of the biggest pervs on the face of this earth. I know that for a fact, as I'd worked with several of them during my days in retail Loss Prevention. But I don't (and never will) discount the boy next door, the troop scout leader or the guy who changed the oil on your Ford Focus last week as a potential panty freak, thong peeker or just some dirtbag with a camera phone waiting for the opportunity to snap a photo under your skirt or down your blouse.

My last loss prevention/security job was for a New England based chain of supermarkets. The camera system (although adequate for the most part), failed to cover the entire store. The dairy aisle (of this now closed supermarket) was always a surveillance issue. That's the aisle where he struck. The customer who would become known throughout the store as "The Footlicker". I kid you not!

I was in my office during the summer of 2006 when the phone rang. It was one of the girls who worked in the bakery. She sounded panicky. "Joe, she said." There's a problem in the dairy aisle"

Me: (trying to adjust the cameras for the best shot) "What's going on? Is everything ok?"

Bakery Girl: Could you come down here? You've got to hear this for yourself.

I walked to the other end of the store and in front of the bakery counter was the employee who called and a customer (a well dressed woman in her 30's) who looked like she had seen a ghost. I approached the customer.

Me: "Can I help you with something?"

Customer: "I can't believe what just happened. I just can't believe it. I never knew there were such weirdos in the world."

Me: Ma'am?

Customer: "See that guy over by the yogurt? I was at the cooler checking out eggs before putting them inside my basket when I felt something on my foot (the woman was wearing sandals) I thought it was a bug or something, because it tickled, but when I looked down, this pervert was on his hands and knees and he had licked my foot. I was frozen. I couldn't move. I looked down and he was looking up and smiling at me. He asked, "Did you like that? "That little punk licked my foot."

Me: (Simply amazed at the woman's story) "What did you do?"

Customer: "When I finally came to my senses and realized what was happening, I screamed and I tried to kick him away, but I missed. He just got up and walked calmly away like nothing happened. Look, he's still here."

Any store detective will tell you any authority they have is for shoplifters only. Weirdos, perverts, skanks, flashers, crackheads and plain ol' everyday nuts were a job for the cops.

Me: "Would you like me to call the police?"

Customer: "Oh, no, um, I don't know. Would that make the story public? Would it be in the newspaper? How embarrassing! This whole thing is just so embarrassing! No, I don't want to make it public. Can't you just kick him out?"

Me: "I don't have any authority to eject him from the store, ma'am. I do suggest calling the police, though. They'll definitely make sure he leaves the store-and perhaps spends some time in a cell."

The woman was so red in the face and shaking, that I knew she wouldn't want to alert the authorities. I attempted one more time to convince the woman to let me contact the police.

Customer: "No, I just want to leave. No one saw it but me and I'm too freaked out to shop here anymore. Could someone walk me to my car?"

The bakery girl escorted the woman to her car and I returned to the security office to get a better look at the Footlicker. Moving the cameras around, I found the guy in the produce aisle. He had a carriage full of food and for the most part looked pretty much like you or I. He didn't appear alarmed, crazy or insane in any way. He looked normal. That was the scary part.

I called the store manager and advised her of the situation. I then called my boss and told him the story. My boss was one of those "don't bring me any bad news" kind of guys. He liked to stay under the radar and not attract any attention. He quickly dismissed the incident. "Keep an eye on him", he said. "If the woman didn't want to press charges, there's really nothing else we can do about it."

The Footlicker left the market that day without licking another sole, but returned every few days to shop and look around. It never failed where I'd get a call from the meat department or service desk, letting me know that The Footlicker was in aisle 5, or that the Footlicker gave one of the girls in the bakery a "strange look" Each time the Footlicker appeared in the store, I would be forced to drop everything and watch the guy shop for the next hour or so. I never caught him trying to lick another foot. I'm sure he's still out there. Shopping and foot watching somewhere else.

Most women I've spoken to about the Footlicker have reacted differently. Some have said they'd "run away", some told me they would have beaten him within an inch of his life and others said they probably would have reacted like the foot victim from above.

So let this be a lesson, ladies. Although you may feel safe and secure inside of a supermarket or shopping center, the weirdos are out there in abundance and security people can do little to help. Maybe this summer you can skip the pedicure and instead wear something stylish like a nice steel toe work boot?